Make the Future

I went to a psychic a while ago. Simply guided by curiosity, I didn’t have any specific concerns, but I left with a bad taste in my mouth.

She didn’t say anything explicitly bad, but I walked in expecting a discussion and reflection on life, while what I got were some shallow predictions about general improvements to my life that did not impress me.

We have a tendency to view the future as static, fixed, and mostly removed from our control. There’s a tendency to view reality with the cold detachment of a scientific researcher: as if everything can be reduced to the goofy meaningless randomness of colliding atoms that is, again, outside of the control of us mere mortals.

This is such a powerless world-view to have. It makes us wrought with worry and anxiety; as if we are wandering through a thick fog, and anything we stumble upon, be it a million dollars, or a deadly fall off a cliff, would be a total accident.

Luckily, this powerless worldview is entirely optional.

You are in control.

Here are examples of powerful beliefs:

• You are in control of your life.
• You make your future.
• Your present is what your past self has made for you.

Don’t anxiously wait and see what the future has in store for you, make it. Command whatever you want into being.

You are a sovereign individual and nobody has control over your thoughts, even if you are incarcerated. Even if your external world and physical body is trapped, your thoughts are always under your directive. That it in of itself is a comforting thought to have.

It all starts with your thoughts. Your life is the story you tell yourself about who you are.

These thoughts form beliefs and build momentum as actions and habits, and before you know it, the story your life that you’ve been telling yourself is already past tense and it’s time for you to write something new.

No matter what change you want to make in your life, such as losing weight, earning more money, living addiction free, developing meaningful relationships, it all starts with accepting where you are right now, and the responsibility that comes with that. If drastic changes are desired, you don’t have to linger in guilt or regret for long, because this state is what your old self has made for you. You’re done with that. Let it go.

Intention

Creating your life is accomplished by setting a series of intentions, which almost always stem from a desire to grow, to challenge yourself, explore, to do something you have never done before. Set one intention, make progress, learn from it, and then set another.

Living life without intentions is like being adrift at sea. You might get to where you want to go, or you might crash into a reef.

Intentions are different than goals. You can intend for something to happen all you want, but if it misses the mark, in the eyes of a goal-setter, you’ve failed. Goals have too much baggage attached to them. We tend to equate a goal’s success or failure with our self-worth, and they tend to give way to a destructive kind of tunnel vision. Speaking as somebody that has worked herself in the ground on multiple occasions, the potentional harm that goal-setting has on my personal relationships simply isn’t worth it anymore.

To summarize my point: Goals are about the destination, while intentions are about the journey. If the goal is heaven, but the path is paved with fiery brimestone and calamity, is it really worth it?

Expectations

Setting intentions leads to clearer expectations and boundaries. It’s easier to say no to abusive relationships and say yes to healthy ones. You are more likely to get what you want once you’ve clearly stated exactly what that is.

Problems in relationships, whether they be friendships, romantic, professional, come from miscommunicated expectations.

It’s hard to relate to people without knowing their intentions. It’s harder being in a relationship with them. It’s like being caught in a chaotic whirlpool, being pulled in every which direction, but with no meaningful progress made.

When people don’t explicitly state and pursue their desires, then the only option left available for them to satisfy those desires is subconsciously, which can lead to habits of manipulation. Things are going great, until all of a sudden, they aren’t. The trademark of being manipulated is walking on eggshells around the person and always feeling guilty. It’s easy to violate the expectations and desires of others when they aren’t clearly made. Manipulation is a topic that warrants it’s own post entirely, but for now, let’s move on.

Indecision

“But what if I make the wrong decision?”

The quickest way to find out if a decision is good or bad for you is simply to act. It’s in action that we gain vital decision-making information.

In sitting on your laurels “trying the make the best decision,” you take on the exhausting task of envisioning all potential choices and outcomes, and weighing them all against each other. With the strategy, overcome with self-doubt, no decision is made unless it is forced by some external factor, or the golden answer that is eventually uncovered is so precious that we become too attached to the outcome. It’s perfection paralyzes us.

It’s like spending months on the perfect business plan, anxiously launching, only to discover that, not only is it not a good business idea, but more importantly, you wouldn’t be passionate about growing or maintaining it in the first place. (I may have done this a few times…)

Alternatively, once you get an idea, you could immediately act, receive feedback, both internal and external, and adjust accordingly, without attaching your self-worth to the outcome. It’ll spare yourself a lot of grief, and allow you to view life as exactly what it is: one giant learning experiment!

Delaying action takes many forms: excel spreadsheets, calendars, mile-long to-do lists. All of that busy work can be oh-so-tempting. It’s taken a while, but I’ve stopped kidding myself. I hardly plan the day ahead, let alone weeks or months like I used to try. I accept now that I work best with a vague vision of the future, and my projects take me about a few months out, but the second an interesting opportunity arises or my priorities change, I adapt without hesitation. I find myself planning less and acting more, learning more, and I’m all the happier for it.

The Devil

Here’s something to think about when faced with a hard decision.

The Devil tarot card is the most feared and misunderstood. Upon seeing the most sinister character to ever exist, it’s easy to imagine an abyss of evil where all your worst fears are realized.

But here lies the trick, the card up the Devil’s sleeve, so to say. Fear is not the punishment, but the tool. The bondage is not some eternal hell in an afterlife, but the life lived avoiding going after what you desire, avoiding diving into the challenges that invigorate you with life, and instead opting for a safe survival free of the responsibility of deciding where to go next. Don’t worry, everything will be okay. Put the chain on your neck, and you’ll never have to make a scary decision ever again.

Look closely at the card, and you’ll see that the chains on the man and woman are loose and could easily be removed. The Devil cannot take control without ongoing permission.

The Devil, far from evil incarnate, is actually the caretaker of those who refuse to take care of themselves. Actually, can you think of anything more evil than the act of freely giving up your free will?

Worrying about the future invites the very fear that the Devil’s bondage feeds on. With enough practice, it becomes silly to worry about something you feel in control of.

When faced with a decision, seriously ask yourself, what do you want? Which path challenges you towards exalted happiness, and which sounds like the comforting clanking of the limited mobility of chains?

Reflection

It’s imperative to define your intentions for moving forward, along with the fears and limiting beliefs that are holding you back. It’s only in understanding your fears that they don’t control you anymore. The only way to remain true to yourself and to the life you desire is to maintain a practice of reflection.

Reflection requires the ability to be alone with your own thoughts long enough so that your inner demons may make themselves known, a length of time that in this age of easy distractions seems like an unnecessary torment. But the brave investment always pays off in spades, because there is an calm eye at the center of every storm, no matter how violent. Once there, you can observe your tumultuous emotions as they swirl around you, and you can finally learn what they are here to teach you.

The word emotion literally translates to “energy in motion.” Emotions can’t be efficiently suppressed. Their very presence demands attention. Let them flow through you. See what they are here to teach you.

If you don’t understand the motives of your actions, chances are, those motives are not your own. Where are you conforming to the expectations of others? How would it be feel to be free of those shackles? Why don’t you just take them off, the imprisonment has always been an illusion anyways.

Liberation of any material kind (of health, money, love, etc) is rooted first and foremost in the liberation of the mind.

There was a man playing piano in this meadow at Yosemite National Park.

Make your future. Make it as colorful as you want. Venture into the smoky unknown confident of what you’ll find on the other side.

For more on this interesting archetype, I recommend the work of Napoleon Hill who authored the famous Think and Grow Rich. Specifically, his controversial book, Outwitting the Devil.

In it he documents a conversation he had with the personification of fear, so called "the Devil," and gets him to confess all the tricks he uses to manipulate people into giving up their free will to him.

Written in 1938, Hill's wife prevented the book's publication for fear of public outcry. Enough immediate family members passed away, and it wasn't published until a few years ago, though it's relevance to today is alarming and it hits close to home in many areas.

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If you visit a psychic, take what they say with a grain of salt… then chunk that salt over your left shoulder into the Devil’s eye! You are making your future right now and you have complete creative license. Make it a masterpiece.