Productive Partners

Ever since graduating high school and my decision to not attend art school, I’ve felt like I was trapped in an artistic desert. I kept going to networking events, and even hosting my own, in hopes of meeting an artist that I could truly connect with.

It wasn’t until I finally let go of my need to collaborate, and I instead focused on my own growth–on making myself a person skilled enough so that I’d become a desirable collaboration partner-that the door was finally opened for me to meet such a person.

Meeting Brandon was like coming home. After meeting at a figure drawing session, we talked for hours at a cafe. It was nice connecting with somebody that was so open to my alternative viewpoints and had the same creative lens through which he viewed the world. His obsession with bears is charming.

It’s interesting how the most valuable people in your life seem to present themselves when you least expect it.

Again and again, I will feel desperate to connect with a certain kind of individual, whether it’s a professional relationship, a romantic one, or a friendship, but they never show up when I am actively looking for them. It’s only after I’ve let go do I end up meeting them, and in a coincidental and serendipitous way at that!

So often we feel like we aren’t ready to meet the very people that we want to grow with. We worry about being rejected and chose the safety of isolation risk of exposure that is required for growth. We work on our craft in this isolation patiently waiting for the day when we will “be good enough.”

This whole time, Brandon had been living a mere five minutes from me–in this area that I had long considered an artistic desert. We were both caught up in the trap of fear, but once we broke free, we were able to connect. It wasn’t long before Brandon and I developed a routine where we consistently worked on our drawing skills together, and we grew tremendously because of it.

Here are the benefits of this kind of productive partnership:

Having a partner that will not judge mistakes, but to the contrary, will share their mistakes openly as you share yours. You alternate your role between teacher and student, learning from them and teaching them, learning faster than you could on our own.
When the focus is less on the end result, and more on the process, it doesn’t take much creative effort to turn it into an enjoyable game.
You’re more productive when together and when alone, because now you have the social pressure to keep growing in tandem with them.
Knowing what the other needs to work on, you can devise interesting challenges.
It’s more fun. The happier you are, the more productive you are. The more fun something is, the more often you are to do it. Practicing drawing regularly used to feel like work when I did it alone, but now it’s just a fun thing to do with a close friend. We sketch in-between engaging conversation. Before we know it, three hours have flown by!
There is the option to collaborate together on bigger projects.

Looking at the above list, why not treat all of your relationships in this way, even and especially your closest relationships? Ask yourself if they are helping you grow or holding you back, then nurture or prune accordingly.

I was teasing my developer boyfriend, Davis, because he would go to school to program in the morning, work at his programming job in the afternoon, and when he comes home, what do I, as his girlfriend, ask him to do? ...Program! Haha! We're just so passionate about improving and trying out different ideas.

To me, collaborative projects feel like the utmost expression of love.

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